Day 20

1. Nerds not allowed
A truck driver hauling a tractor-trailer load of computers stops for a beer. As he approaches the bar, he sees a big sign on the door saying:
-"Nerds Not Allowed-Enter At Your Own Risk!"
He goes in and sits down. The bartender comes over to him.
-You smell kind of nerdy. What do you do for a living?
-I drive a truck, and the smell is just from the computers I'm hauling.
-Okay, truck drivers are not nerds. he says and serves him a beer. As he is sipping his beer, a skinny guy walks in with tape around his glasses, a pocket protector with twelve kinds of pens and pencils, and a belt at least a foot too long.
The bartender, without saying a word, pulls out a shotgun and blows the guy away. The truck driver is totally shocked.
-Why did you do that?
-Not to worry, the nerds are overpopulating Silicon Valley and are in season now. You don't even need a license.
The truck driver finishes his beer, gets back in his truck, and heads back onto the freeway. Suddenly, he veers to avoid an accident, and the load shifts. The back door breaks open and computers spill out all over the freeway. He jumps out and sees a crowd already forming, grabbing up the computers.They are all engineers, accountants, and programmers wearing the nerdiest clothes he has ever seen!
He can't let them steal his whole load. So, remembering what happened in the bar, he pulls out his gun and starts blasting away, felling several of them instantly.
A highway patrol officer comes zooming up and jumps out of the car screaming at him to stop.
-What's wrong? I thought nerds were in season. says the truck driver.
-Well, sure, says the patrolman. But you are not allowed to bait 'em!

2. Photographer
A photographer for a national magazine was assigned to take pictures of a great forest fire. He was advised that a small plane would be waiting to fly him over the fire.
The photographer arrived at the airstrip just an hour
before sundown. Sure enough, a small Cessna airplane was waiting. He jumped in with his equipment and shouted:
-Let's go!
The tense man sitting in the pilot's seat swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air,
though flying erratically.
-Fly over the north side of the fire, said the photographer, and make several low-level passes.
-Why? asked the nervous pilot.
-Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures.
The pilot replied:
-You mean you're not the flight instructor?


3. Exactly 3 o'clock
A well dressed business man was walking down the street when a little kid covered in soot said to him respectfully:
-Sir, can you tell me the time?
The portly man stopped, carefully unbuttoned his coat and jacket, removed a large watch from a vest pocket, looked at it and said:
-It is a quarter to three, young man.
-Thanks. said the boy. At exactly three o'clock you can kiss my ass.
With that, the kid took off running, and with an angry cry, the outraged businessman started chasing him.
He had not been running long when an old friend stopped him.
-Why are you running like this at your age? asked the friend.
Gasping and almost incoherent with fury, the business man said:

-That little brat asked me the time and when I told him it was quarter to three he told me that at exactly three, I should kiss his ass!
-So what's your hurry, said the friend. You still have ten minutes.

4. Many people will die because of you
About 1895, in Germany a man visited a witch. He asked her how his future will be.
-Ahhh! I see! she said looking in her crystal globe. Many people will die because of you, millions of people!
Really disturbed by the answer of the witch, he left her house and headed to his house at the town's suburb. Then he saw a six years old kid chassed by a big mad dog. He ran at it scared the dog throwing some rocks at it and saved the kid. Very happy about what he did he asked proudly:
-Wath's your name, little fellow?
-Adolf Hitler!