Day 26

1. Cyber Dad

One day a boy asks his father:

-Dad, How was I born?

-Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
"You've Got a Mail!"

2. Had my dad been...

Little Johnny boards his school bus and sits right behind the driver. He starts to sing a weird song:
-Had my dad been a dog, my mom been a bitch; I'd have been a puppy.
Had my dad been a horse, my mom been a mare; I'd have been a colt. 

Had my dad been a tiger, my mom been a tigress; I'd have been a cub. .......... and so on.
The driver who is constantly getting irritated by his dumb song asks him:
-What if your dad had been a gay and your mom had been a lesbian?
Little johnny replies:

-Well, then I would have been a bus-driver.

3. A dollar and two Quarters

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,

-This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks:

-Which do you want, son?

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

-What did I tell you? said the barber. That kid never learns!

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

-Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?

The boy licked his cone and replied:

-Because if I wil take the dollar the barber will stop giving me money for ice-cream!

4. Did Santa bring that to you?

On Christmas morning, a cop on horseback was sitting at a traffic light. Next to him was a kid on his shiny new bike.
The cop said to the kid:
-Nice bike you’ve got there. Did Santa bring that to you?
-Yeah.
-Well, next year tell Santa to put a taillight on that bike.
The cop then proceeded to issue the kid a $20 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid took the ticket, but before he rode off he said:
-By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?
Humoring the kid, the cop said:
-Yeah, he sure did.
The kid said then:
-Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top