Day 30

1. Going to Jamaica

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section.  The stewardess tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't  have a first class ticket.

The blonde replies:

-I'm blonde, I'm smart and I have a good job and  I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.

The stewardess gets the Head Stewardess who asks the woman to leave  and she again responds:

-I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm  staying in first class until we reach Jamaica.

The stewardesses don't know what to do because they have to get the rest  of the passengers seated to take off, so they get the co-pilot.

The co-pilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately  gets up, apologizes and goes to her seat in the coach section.

The head stewardess asks the co-pilot what he said to get her to move.  The co-pilot replies:

-I told her the first class wasn't going to Jamaica.

2. Redneck and sons

A redneck woman went to the school to register her boys. The office worker asked her:

-How many children do you have?

-Ten. she replied.

-And what are their names? he asked.

-Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, Bob, and Bob.
-They're ALL named Bob? he asked. What if you want them to come in from playing outside?
-Oh, that's easy, she explained, I just call "Bob" and they all come running inside.

-And if you want them to come to the table for dinner?
-I just say, "Bob, come eat your dinner" and they do. She answered.

-But what if you want just ONE of them to do something? he asked.

-Oh, that's easy, she said. I just use their last name.

3. Blonde inventions

Here are some blonde inventions (I think are useless). Think about their use before you go to another joke. 

1. The water-proof towel
2. Solar powered flashlight
3. Submarine screen door
4. A book about how to read
5. Inflatable dart board
6. A dictionary index
7. Ejector seat in a helicopter
8. Powdered water
9. Pedal-powered wheel chair
10. Water-proof tea bag

4. Ice fishing

A blonde wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject and, finally getting all the necessary tools together, she made for the ice.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed:
-THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.
Startled, the blonde moved farther down the ice, poured a thermos of Cappuccino and began to cut yet another hole. Again from the sky the voice bellowed:
-THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.
The blonde, now worried, moved clear down to the opposite end of the Ice. She set up her stool once more and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more:
-THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE.
She stopped, looked skyward, and asked:
-Is that you, Lord?
The voice replied:
-NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE HOCKEY RINK.