Day 1

1. In 1587
In 1587 a stuttering pirates ship was ready to start a journey from Tortuga to a great port. They wanted to rob the port and sell what they got on rum. In a beautiful morning the captain saw a ship:
-Sh-ssh-ship aa-aaah-ahead!!!
-Mmm-men the can-caaan-cannons!!!-
-Rrrea-ree-ready....fi-fffi-fire!!!
And the cannons: "Bbbo-booo-boom!

2. After their ship sunk
After their ship sunk, the captain and a few sailors were floating on a raft...
-Captain, how much do we have 'til we reach land?
-About 3 miles..... Downward!

3. Two good frieds
Two good friends were talking :
-You know I'm a sailor, right?
-Yes, I do. Why?
-I must go on sea for one year and I want you to take care of my wife. She's pregnant in fifth month.
-Don' t worry I'll take care of her.
One year later the sailor came back.
-It's so good to see you, my friend. How was it ,on sea?
-It was all right, but now... did you take care of my wife?
-Yes, I did. You left her pregnant in fifth month, you find her pregnant in fifth month.....

4. A man on a bench in a park
A man was reading a newspaper smoking a cigar on a bench in a park. Another man comes to him and tells him:
-You know, every year 10000 french die because of smoking
-I don't care... I'm russian.