Day 4

1. The worst day
There was a guy sitting at a bar, looking at his drink. He stayed like that for half an hour.
Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says,
-Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand seeing a man crying.
-No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, in this morning I fell asleep, and I was late to my office. My boss, in an outrage, fired me. When I leave the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.
The police say they can do nothing. I took a taxi to return home and when I left the car, I remembered I left my wallet and credit cards there. The taxi driver drived away. I entered in my house and I found my wife in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison.


2. The pirate
A sailor meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas.
The sailor notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eyepatch. He asked:
-So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?
-Me and my crew were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out a shark bit my leg off.
-Wow! What about your hook?
-Well, while me and my crew were plundering in the middle east, I was caught stealing from a merchant. I was arrested and my hand was cut off as a punishment.
-Incredible! How did you get the eyepatch?
-I was sleeping on my ship and a seagull landed on my face.
-You lost your eye because of a seagull?!
-Well, no, it was my first day with the hook...


3. On the highway
A woman was driving veeery slow on the highway. A policeman stops her and ask her:
-Why do you drive so slow, lady?
-That's the speed limit, look: "Highway 5"
-Ah, ha ha, 5 is the number of the highway not the speed limit. But what happened with the woman on the right chair? Why is she so pale?
-She'll be all right in a minute. She's like that since we came out of Highway 279.


4.The bet
A blonde and a redhead were in a bar after work for a drink and were watching the six o'clock news on television. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge.
The blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump, and the redhead replied:
-I'll take that bet!
Anyway, sure enough, the man jumped and the blonde gave the redhead $50.
The redhead said,
-I can't take this, you're my friend.
-No, a bet's a bet.
So the redhead said:
-Listen, I have to admit, I saw this on TV on the five o'clock news, so I can't take your money.
-Well, so did I, but I never thought he'd jump again!"