Day 11

1. Sleeping in class

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through out the class. One day the teacher asked her while she was napping,

-Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?
When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
-God Almighty! shouted Mary.

Teacher said:

-Very good! and Mary fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary,

-Who is our Lord and Savior?
But, Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

-Jesus Christ! shouted Mary.
The teacher said:

-Very good! and Mary fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Mary a third question.

-What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?
And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted

-If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!

2. First anatomy class

Med School students were receiving their first anatomy  class with a real dead human body. They are all  gathered around the surgery table with the body  covered with a white sheet. Then the professor started  the class by telling them,

-In medicine, it is  necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor,  the first is that it is necessary that you not be  disgusted.
The professor then uncovered the sheet, sunk his  finger in the ass of the dead body, withdrew it and  sucked it.

-Go ahead and do the same thing. he  told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated  and subsequently taking turns, sunk their finger in  the ass of the dead body and sucked it after  withdrawing it.
When everyone finished, the professor looked at them  and, with a smile on his face, told them,

The second important quality is  observation. I sunk the middle finger and sucked  the index. Pay attention people, pay attention!

3. A visit to the doctor

A woman takes her 4 year old son in for his yearly well child visit to The doctor.
The doctor asks the little boy:

-Do you know your name?
-Yes, my name is Johnny.
-And Johnny, do you know your mom's name?
-Yes, her name is Mommy.
-And what is Mommy's real name?

-It's Tammy.
-That is great.
-And what is your daddy's name?
-It is daddy.
-And how does mommy call him?
-Asshole.

4. Just found out

A gentleman walks into a bar one day, looks at the bartender with a troubled look and says:

-6 double shots of vodka please.
The bartender makes the drinks and says to the man:

-Having a bad day?
-Just found out my brother is gay. then gulps down the drinks.

The next day the same man walks into the bar, looks at the bartender and says:

-Make it 6 double shots of vodka please.
The bartender makes the drinks gives them to the man, and says:

-Another bad day pal?

-Just found out my other brother is gay. then gulps the drinks down and leaves.
The very next day, again the same man walks into the bar, looks at the bartender and says:

-6 double shots of vodka.

The bartender looks at the man and says:

-Man is there anybody in your family that likes women?

-Yes, just found out my wife does!