One day a Russian (quite drunk) decided to go fishin'. After three hours with no catch, he caught the Gold Fish. The fish will grant him three wishes.... You know the story.
-If you set me free I'll grant you three wishes, one today, one tomorrow and one the day after tomorrow. What' your first wish?
-I want a bottomless bottle of wine.
-All right here it is. I'll see you next morning here.
Next morning the fish comes to the meeting place and waits......... and waits....... and waits. About 3 P.M. the Russian appears with the bottomless bottle in his hand.
-Where have you been, I've been waiting for you. Never mind. What's your second wish?
-I want you to grant me both the other wishes. First, fill this one up. And second, gimme other two bottomless bottles!
2. 5 pounds
A maid was fired for shoddy work. When her ex-boss has finished talking the maid
takes 5 pounds out of her purse and gives it to him.
-What’s this for?
-Its for your dog. He’s been helping me clean the dishes for 7 weeks!
3.Do you ever hear voices?
A psychiatrist was testing the mentality of a patient.
-Do you ever hear voices without being able to recognize the voices or where the voices are coming from?
-As a matter of fact, I do.
-And when does this happen?
-Oh, when I answer the telephone.
4. The deep root
A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled.He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth
extraction.
It all happened in an instant.
The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth.
Afterwards, the dentist asked:
-Hurt much?
-Didn't hardly feel it come out. But, man, those roots were really deep!
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